Ruminant

He had heard about this weird animal, but had never really believed any of the stories.
All reports of sightings had only mentioned a single creature. It had been described as a cross between a guineapig and a small Pomeranian dog. Because it was seen eating grass on all of these occasions, it was deemed to be a ruminant. However, to make all of this more unbelievable, one eye witness claimed that the creature had several bouts of loud flatulence. On the other hand, this did add some credence to what this type of animal might be, since ruminants are known to regularly pass amounts of methane. The fact was, he didn’t believe any of it.
That was the case, until he was out in the bush one night with his telescope, looking at the stars. He did this occasionally. If the weather was right he would pack up his tent and sleeping bag and take off. It was his own private getaway. It was while on one of these trips that things changed. He’d been heating up a simple meal over a small fire before climbing into his sleeping bag for the night when he heard something. It started as a rustle coming from the nearby scrub. Although there was not enough light to make out what it was, he could clearly see movement. This was followed by a long period of silence.
Then, he was stoking his tiny camp fire when this strange creature approached, nervously. It was obviously hungry. The thing certainly corresponded to all of the descriptions he’d heard. He proceeded to brake off several pieces of bread and throw them towards the thing. It came forward and gobbled them up. It seemed to him that the thing was desperately hungry, because there was no hesitation about coming right up towards the fire for the scraps that were being thrown down. He couldn’t help feeling sorry for the odd-looking animal. He got up and slowly walked around to the other side of the fire, where he scattered more pieces of food. He then returned to his spot. What he had in mind worked. The animal came right up and began eating greedily. He sat, watching through the flames, as the little fellow munched away.
It was then that it happened. Being so close to the fire and letting go of a huge amount of methane all at once, the creature’s rear end caught fire, at which point it shot straight up with a trail of fire, lifting it higher and higher.

It was never seen again!

482 thoughts on “Ruminant”

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