Sitting in the child’s bedroom, the first book was opened.
The intruder had been instructed to gather as much information as possible. Not really understanding whose room it was had not been a consideration. The acquisition of cultural knowledge was all that really mattered, and this would be carried out in whatever time was allowed for such probing to take place. Book after book was being taken from the shelves and the contents examined. Not all of it made sense. After all, regardless of how many children she had, why would an old woman live in a shoe? Who would seriously ask a sheep if it has any wool? Would anybody really ask that of an animal incapable of speech? What is it with this Old Mother Hubbard person, that she would keep bones in a cupboard?
What could a dish and a spoon be so frightened of that they end up running away together? What does Hickory Dickory mean and how exactly could a mouse run up a clock. What accounted for such a weird reaction when Georgie Porgie kissed the girls? What was this incy wincy spider doing up a water spout in the first place? As for ‘Humpty’, why would he sit on the top of that wall, or for that matter, any wall? And how did he manage to get up there in the first place? How did this Bo-Peep person actually lose all of those sheep? There didn’t seem to be any mention of that.
The last book was returned to the shelf, with so many concepts hard to fathom. For instance, there are so many things that would be so much better than a mulberry bush to dance round. Furthermore, it has to be the case that nine-day-old Pease-porridge would be quite lethal if consumed, and surely, weasels don’t really go pop!
The alien thought, how am I going to report this?
They’ll never believe me…
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