It was generally understood that he wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The teenager thought that the latest ap he’d downloaded to his phone was really cool. He’d only had it for three days, but he’d already accrued more than three hundred points. Not just any points, orange points! It was great! He’d racked up another twelve just sitting in the waiting room. He’d reported, the way he was supposed to. Meanwhile, the Parole Officer thought about his next parolee, out in the waiting room. Knowing that he had the IQ of an amoeba didn’t mean that he wouldn’t necessarily get the job. However, because he was obviously a few fries short of a Happy Meal, he would need some encouragement. At the end of the day, the fact that his elevator didn’t go all the way up to the top floor shouldn’t stop him from being given a chance. As he generally gave the impression that the lights are on but nobody was home and was, in fact, as thick as two short planks, he would need to help him along a bit.
In short, the Parole Officer knew that he was a few cents short of a dollar, but he believed everybody deserved a fair go. He had filled out the job application form for him and he would do his best to prepare him for the interview.
The following day, the applicant, duly indoctrinated in the finer techniques of being interviewed, sat across from the company’s Human Resources Manager.
The manager finally looked up. He smiled when he noted that the applicant was putting his phone away. “Now, Mister Thorpington, I’ve read your CV.”
The boy’s eyebrows shot up. “You said Thorpington?”
“I did.”
“Sorry. Just rings a bell, that’s all.”
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