The old woman picked up the phone, mainly to stop it ringing; she didn’t like phones.
A pleasant male voice at the other end was saying, “Good morning madam, I’m calling from Worldwide Charity. How are you today?”
“Sorry, my hearing is not so good, would you say that again?”
“I was asking how you are today.”
“Is that you, Rodney?”
“No. My name is Clive.”
“Number five? Did you say five? You have the wrong number, I live at twenty-seven.”
“No madam, I’m Clive, and I’m phoning to let you know that our charity is currently running a special lottery.”
“Oh! I’m sure I haven’t placed an order for pottery.”
“No, madam it’s a lottery. We have found that in the past these lotteries have been especially popular amongst women.”
“But they don’t, do they?”
“Sorry, don’t what?”
“Swim.”
“Who doesn’t swim?”
“Monks, I’m sure they don’t swim.”
“Oh! I see. No madam, I said amongst women. Anyway, this year‘s grand prize is a new Toyota.”
“Oh! I’m much too old for a new toy Yoda. Although my grandson may be interested. How much did you say it was?”
“Ah! I’m glad you asked me that. We have greatly reduced the price of tickets, as we are aware that many people are trying to make ends meet.”
“Hen’s meat? Do you mean chicken?”
“Madam, any contribution you care to make will support our current drive, we have programmes in place to support youth in Asia.”
“No! I’m sorry, Colin. I don’t support euthanasia!”
The phone went down with a thud.
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