He was around her age and was always getting top marks for writing stories.
He was nice-looking and always polite. They were in the same class and would sometimes talk. She obviously looked up to him. It was probably more than mere admiration. Anyway, things took a major turn, quite out of the blue, when they somehow found themselves chatting about their favourite school subject and he said he would help her with her story writing. She couldn’t believe it; she was thrilled! It was obvious that they both had a love of writing in common, maybe it went beyond that! It was during a lunch period in the school canteen when he made the offer. The thought that he was willing to give up his time to give her some pointers was amazing.
It was agreed that she finish the story she was working on and then let him see it. They also decided that the canteen would be quiet near the end of lunch break, and it would be ideal if they sat at the corner table away from the door. He said they could sit there and he would read it when it was finished.
It was only a couple of days later, before first class, that she let him know she had finished her story and had brought it in to show him.
At lunchtime, when the place was almost empty, they met at the table and she handed him a copy of her story. She couldn’t help noticing the serious expression that came over him, as he took it from her.
At first, she was amazed at how long it took him to read it. She was even more surprised with what happened next. He was pouting his lips and slowly shaking his head when he looked up.
His first comment was that her plot was weak!
She was shocked to think that he should think that. She had barely got over this when he went on to say that the whole thing was overly wordy. He had also noticed an issue with her switching tenses. As well as this, he felt that she had not done enough research on her subject. He said that generally, her characterisation was poor. He felt that they were oversimplified. He considered that they came across as flat and much too generic, and the dialogue was poor and certainly needed work. He also noted that she had used a lot of clichés. He pointed out that these should be avoided. Generally speaking, he thought there was certainly too much completely unnecessary descriptions and details in her work.
He paused momentarily, for his critique to sink in.
Knowing full well that this first get-together would be their last, she smiled, thanked him, and quietly returned to class.
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