The requirement to arrive early became clear when he was given the form.
He began by looking through all eighteen pages. Reading the headings given on each page gave some idea of how exclusive, the venue really was. The form was an application to join ‘The Club’. As a prospective candidate, he knew that those who apply for membership are subjected to a most rigorous set of… well, the man on the phone called them bullet points. When he asked what sort of bullet points, he didn’t get much of an answer, but was told that it was an extremely long list. Asking to see the list made the man at reception go extremely pale. He glanced around, then said that they don’t actually hand these things out. He was told that all he needed to know was that every check box has to be ticked, to become a member.
He took a pen from the pot on the counter and sat down with the form. The pen had an intricate design and the club’s tiny inscription on it. It looked very expensive. Not many people would have one of these, he thought.

Fifty minutes later, having answered every question in such a way that he could be assured of acquiring membership, he handed the form in.
He was told, as a result of their thorough vetting system, it could take anything up to a year!
Nodding, he said he thought that he was a perfect candidate, but was told that it was far more than just being perfect. He was reminded once more that they were exclusive.
He kept the pen, just in case…
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