The boy sat outside the headmaster’s office, waiting for the sign to say ‘Enter’.
He knew that it was a bold move, taking his complaint to the highest authority, but even at the age of ten he felt that the matter had to be put to rest. The sign lit up and he went in. The headmaster pointed to a chair.
“I understand you have a complaint.”
“Yes sir, Snodgrass made a completely unprovoked and violent attack on me, sir.”
“I see, and what did he do, exactly?”
“He struck me with a cudgel, sir.”
“A cudgel, you say. Well… a most unusual weapon! And where pray did this attack take place?”
“In the tap room of the Queen’s Head, sir.”
“A public house do you mean?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You’re saying that this boy Snodgrass attacked you with a cudgel in the tap room of a public house, is that right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What were you doing in such a place?”
“Drinking, sir.”
“Drinking?”
“Yes, and minding my own business, when he suddenly appeared. He struck me twice on my right shoulder, for no reason at all, sir.”
“I see, and when did this alleged assault take place?”
“On the twelfth of October 1827, sir.”
The headmaster held up a finger. “Ah! Let’s pause there for a moment, shall we? I have your records here, I believe. Yes, here we are.” He opened a folder and sat reading for a few moments.
The boy wriggled in his chair, mumbling, “It was a Friday, sir. Just a quiet drink at the end of the working week, sir.”
The headmaster’s finger was raised again. “Yes, I’m sure. That’s not what I’m looking for. Ah! Here it is.” He looked up with a smile. “Jainism… that’s it isn’t it, your religion, Jainism?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So, what we are discussing here is an unprovoked attack on your person by Snodgrass…”
The boy interrupted. “Not exactly Snodgrass, of course. He was Higgins then.”
“Yes, yes, all right. We are talking about an earlier unprovoked attack on your person by this assailant; in fact, some two hundred years ago, and in a past life. In an earlier reincarnation, as it were.”
“Yes, sir.”
The headmaster sat back and laced his fingers. “Well, I am pleased to inform you that one of this school’s rules dealing with this type of complaint clearly states that no disciplinary action can be taken in cases such as this.”
“It can’t, sir?”
“No, it can’t. I say pleased, because I find the thought of wading into such deep waters as these, well, positively nightmarish.” He smiled. “Yes. It’s a sort of statute of limitations, do you see?”
“Not really, sir. I was hoping for justice.”
“Ah! Justice.” He lowered his voice. “However, I should add here, that I expressly forbid you to follow this boy after school, and in a place well away from the school’s premises, to deliver two very hard thumps to his shoulder.” He raised his eyebrows. “Do you understand?”
The youngster gave a grateful smile and said, “I do, sir. Thank you, sir.”
The boy left the room with a clenched fist.
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