Different

Sometimes being different is seen by others in different lights.

This undeniable, if somewhat obscure aphorism, may not have helped the girl from the village, had she thought about it. We’ll never know. As a person, she was much like anyone else; a bit brighter, maybe. Because she was known as such in the small community, it was no big surprise when she was awarded a scholarship. This would undoubtedly assure her of great prospects and a wonderful future. For her, this turn of events had the downside of being packed off to a normally extremely expensive private school. This was not seen by others. It was there, in a town far from home and in short order, she was seen as being different. Of course, in the whole scheme of things, she was!

The only thing that made her at least look like the other girls was what she regarded as a starchy uniform. Beyond this, she was nothing like the others and their attitude towards her as a newcomer kept in place this feeling of being generally not belonging and in fact unwanted. As the first few unpleasant weeks dragged by, the sniggering and avoidance slowly became overt ridicule. Her humble beginnings were often alluded to.

When the very much anticipated time came for her to return home, the level of excitement was something she had never felt before. The break would probably give her time to adjust somehow. Maybe see the situation from the outside looking in? She wasn’t sure. She looked forward to catching up with the friends that she had been separated from over that first period away. She was surprised to find that for many, their attitudes had changed. Even her best friend had strange ideas about how she just wasn’t the same. How could she be? Her elevation to a posh school was often alluded to.

On her return to what was generally seen as the better school, she found that a far greater tendency was to keep herself to herself. As far as her studies were concerned, she no longer had the drive and enthusiasm for the learning process that was there in spades in her former life. Her poor performance in this respect added to the derision and the feeling of alienation. She was becoming acutely aware of the two worlds that she was living between. Neither of which accepted her and in neither of which she belonged.

She knew that as a person, she was much like anyone else; a bit brighter, maybe, but knowing this didn’t help. It didn’t ease the anguish that now built steadily or the interminable loneliness that she now felt in this separate world. Over a traumatic period she tried to claw back that former person that she was comfortable with. She tried really hard, but failed.

Back home, at her service, those private feelings of annoyance over a girl that had waisted such a wonderful opportunity were unspoken.

It was so hard to understand why she would do such a thing.