Coming Up Short

The man in the agency looked across at the candidate with a knowing smile.

He cleared his throat. “Yes, I’ve read your CV. It’s very impressive. I see you have a very thorough knowledge of the myriad of ways possible to communicate with your fellow human beings.”

The young man wriggled. “I suppose so.”

“Yes, you would suppose that.” The account manager looked down at the resume on his screen and started reading.

“Email, Kindle It, Skype, SMS, Viber, Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter, Blogger, YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, Yahoo Mail, Reddit, Tumblr, Evernote, Messenger, WordPress, Outlook, Gmail, WhatsApp, MySpace, Google Bookmarks, AOL Mail, Pinboard, Bitty Browser, Trello, Copy Link, Digg, Pocket, DZone, Pusha, VK, Mix, Flipboard, Slashdot, Box.net, Fark, Buffer, BlogMarks, TypePad Post, Viadieo, Wanelo, LiveJournal, Odnoklassniki, Known, Telegram, WeChat and Diaspora.”

He tapped a couple of keys and went on.

“Amazon Wish List, Line, Mail.Ru, Diigo, Mastodon, Symbaloo Bookmarks, Hacker News, Threema, Mendeley, Meneame, Refind, Mixi, CiteULike, Netvouz, Plurk, Tuenti, Svejo, Twiddla, Wykop, XING, Yummly, Design Float, Kakao, Diary.Ru, Hatena, Douban, Blinklist, Draugiem, Rediff MyPage, Renren, Sina Weibo, StumbleUpon, Yoolink, PrintFriendly, Protopage Bookmarks, StockTwits, Balatarin, BibSonomy, Google Classroom, Kik, Care2 News, Houzz, Instapaper, Folkd, Papaly, SiteJot and Qzone.”

He finally looked up.

“I’m afraid I can’t recommend you to the client.”

The applicant looked shocked. “You can’t?”

“No, I can’t. It’s really quite simple.”

The knowing smile returned.

“The fact is, when you entered the room you didn’t smile and say good morning.”

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