Author: Alexander Fawn

It had been a hard day in the office and it was late.

Homeward bound, he almost fell asleep on the bus. Getting off and feeling the cool night air on his face freshened him a little. At the apartment block, he took the elevator as usual. Getting out, he made his way along to the fifth door. It opened as he approached, and a woman he didn’t recognise invited him in. As he entered, she gave him a brief hug, telling him that tea was ready. It was no doubt his lethargy the had him wander into the room and take a seat. Looking around, he got the impression that like him, she lived alone. The conversation during the meal included her discussing her failing sight.

He enjoyed the meal. When it was finished, he thanked her. When he stood, there was an awkward moment when he thanked her again for the meal and said he needed to get home.

Walking back to the elevator he confirmed what he’d suspected, he had come out on the wrong floor.

On the way down, he couldn’t help wondering just how bad her eyesight really was.

They were laying in the meadow when it happened.

It was one of the places the couple liked to frequent on the weekend because very few walkers trekked across it. It was a quiet retreat, well away from the sound of traffic. They never had to speak above a whisper when they were there. The weather was bright and sunny, warming their bodies through there clothes. The remaining cans of beer had been heated to the point of being undrinkable. They hadn’t spoken for several minutes, and this is when he noticed that she had fallen asleep. He wasn’t sleepy, just content to stare up at the clouds moving slowly across a clear blue sky. Before fully realising what he was doing, despite being in his mid-twenties, he found himself playing a game from his early childhood. He was making animals out of the clouds as they moved and reformed in slow motion.

Then, as he watched, clouds shifted and two large words formed in capital letters; FIND ANOTHER.

After a moment or two, he sat up rubbing his eyes. When he looked again it was gone; just regular clouds were there. The truth of it was, he didn’t believe in this sort of nonsense. Anyway, he was probably drunk at the time. Life moved on and a week or so later she moved into his apartment and before long wedding plans were being made.

Time passed. Most of it was pretty unpleasant. Now, a decade or so later he was homeless, lonely, penniless and starving. He’d been living on the streets for several long months with his future prospects looking particularly grim. In his regular alley, without a roof over his head, he was used to gazing up into the night sky before making an effort to fall asleep. On this particular night, he was studying the way stars were grouped, trying to remember the names of constellations.

Then, as he watched, stars shifted and two large words formed in capital letters;

TOLD YOU.

It was the middle of the night when he heard it.

He had been fast asleep. He was now laying very still, listening to the noise. It was a strange sound, one that he was sure he hadn’t heard before. It sounded like a series of repetitious notes being played on a stringed instrument. He doubted that, at this time of night. Although it could just as easily be some creature constantly scratching at something in the space above the ceiling. It was like a gramophone’s needle skipping on an old vinyl record, or the soundtrack playing on a radio or television. It could even be the sound of a child’s battery-operated toy left on. It could simply be the high shrill call of a night bird or a branch scraping a window, or some pulsing sound coming from a water pipe. It occurred to him that it could well be that it was just the hinges of a squeaky gate swinging in the wind.

After all this, his final thought was that it was most likely to be the distant cry of some night animal.

He gave a sharp cough, and it stopped.

There was obviously something going on in the department.

Nobody was talking about it, or even commenting on the fact that several meetings had been taking place in the chief’s office between him and three others. These were obviously top brass from other departments. Each time the door was locked and the blinds were all drawn down. The four of them had been doing this regularly for several days. Only they knew the detail regarding the mission. Only they knew that a dedicated team was working feverishly on a selection process in a quite separate location. The first stage of this was to create a list of the top one hundred personnel from all arms of the military forces. The team was required to scan military records to identify them. This being done; they went on to arrange sessions of psychological testing of a nature that was specifically customised for the mission.

The forty-three personnel who passed this stage successfully were then put through a rigorous programme to assess their physical fitness. The top nine of these were asked to fill out a personal questionnaire, designed to record their individual strengths and weaknesses, with an accent on their tolerance levels to excessive heat, humidity and so on.

It was at this point that the selection of the top four candidates was made, comprising of two men and two women. After being fully briefed on the nature of their mission, they were put on standby.

At a time to be appointed, they would board an aircraft and fly to another country, where they would land, only momentarily. From there, using precise coordinates, they would be taken by helicopter to a remote area of dense jungle.

At this point, it is planned that this selected team of four are deployed from the helicopter by fast-roping down to the jungle floor.

Once on the ground, using their military grid reference system along with GPS, they would carry out their retrieval mission.

All other information regarding the mission is classified.

The holy man felt that he had the right to complain to the almighty one.

Being so incredibly holy (and please don’t ask where the likes of us gets these people from) he got in touch. He felt that humankind had taken a wrong path somewhere. He couldn’t help feeling that, regardless of the undeniable improvements in things like modern life-saving medicines, improved communication systems, great strives forward in the field of agriculture and so on, the human race was still plagued with things like pestilence, famine, wars, ethnic prejudices and social inequalities, to name but a few. His consideration was that people have never been this uncertain about what their future might hold. He maintained that something definitely went awry somewhere.

After politely expressing his point of view, he said, “I humbly turn to you, almighty one, for a solution to our troubles.”

“It’s a bit late for that, I’m afraid,” the almighty one said, peering down and taking it all in.

“It is?”

“Yes, I see it now,” came the reply, with a happy realisation in the voice. “I think it all went pear-shaped around a couple of million years ago.”

“It did?”

A chortle could be heard, followed by, “Oops! I certainly didn’t intend you people to maturate beyond Homo habilis…”

The man from number seventeen spoke several languages.

It was because of this that the homeowner at number four had contacted him with an unusual request.

Although he didn’t really know the man from up the street, he gave him a ring. He said he would be doing him a great favour by calling at his house at a time that was convenient. He said that he felt sure the man would be most interested in what he had to show him. The expert agreed to call in on the following afternoon. He sounded as though he was quite happy with the idea of a visit, on the basis that he was always willing to give advice to friends and neighbours. He thanked him very much and rang off. When the expert came to his house on the following day, he would explain that he’d found a rabbit nibbling on his back lawn and had no idea where it had come from.

Then, he would go on to describe how the animal kept making strange, guttural noises. After that, keeping his fingers crossed that he was right, he would tell him that he was convinced that the rabbit was speaking Spanish!

On the following day, the language expert arrived and they were soon in the back yard with the rabbit laying on the garden table. He’d been brought up to date with all that the homeowner could tell him. Although highly sceptical about what he’d been told, the visitor was interested to hear the sounds the animal was supposed to make.

After a while the animal began muttering.

The visitor put his ear close to the rabbit’s head and listened intently for several minutes. The other stood by patiently, hoping that some sort of explanation came out of the strange event.

Meanwhile, and to the man’s utter astonishment, he could hear the rabbit saying, in Spanish, and repeatedly, “I hate the nasty girl from number twelve who owns me and I don’t want to go back there, ever!”

Not wanting to remain involved in any of the current circumstances, the language expert stood up rubbing his chin. “No,” he said.

“No, what?” said the nervous homeowner, beginning to feel foolish.

“Not Spanish,” lied the expert. “I think it’s Portuguese. I’m fluent with a number of languages; unhappily, Portuguese is not one of them,” he lied again.

Both relieved and disappointed at the same time, the homeowner bent over the animal and listened to the unfamiliar words. He mumbled to himself, “I just don’t know what to do.”

Looking up, he found the expert opening his side gate, saying, “So sorry I couldn’t help,” as he disappeared.

It was a special day for the couple.

The day his son was born, while the mother was resting, he accompanied the nurse through to the room where the infant was measured and weighed. It was then that the nurse pointed out that the baby had a small birthmark on his buttock. It was an arrangement of five dots in a square, with one at each corner and one in the middle. It looked for all the world like the dots that represented a five on the face of a die. She seemed to know all about it. She said that it was a quincunx and an ancient symbol that represented good luck. Being something of a superstitious person and being aware that it happened to be the fifth day of the month, the day of the Grand National, he saw this as an opportunity that shouldn’t be missed.

He knew his wife wouldn’t approve, so without broadcasting the fact, he scraped together five thousand and placed a bet on the horse having number five on its saddlecloth.

He had it in mind that he would make a generous donation to the hospital with the winnings.

As it happened, when it came in fifth, to make himself feel better about the whole thing, he secretly blamed the nurse.

He was cleaning house.

He went around gathering up all those things that the woman had given him. LPs, books, magazines, coffee mug, tee-shirts, ties, slippers… When they were all gathered in a pile on the bed, he got a large, heavy-duty box and threw them all in. Then he sealed it with industrial grade packing tape. He walked back through the rooms, feeling he’d overlooked something. He spent several more minutes wandering around looking for anything he may have missed, before it suddenly came to him. There was the other stuff. He got together every single memory of her, along with her smile, her deceit, her promises and her lies. Gathering these last items together, he crushed them into an imaginary box and sealed it just as securely as the other. He returned to the box and slit the flaps open with a sharp knife and dropped the smaller box in.

After resealing it, he carried it out into the yard where he tossed it into the skip.

Deep within the forest you can find the ancient ruins of a stone-built chapel.

Such a place is made difficult to visit, with its heavy undergrowth and clusters of thick brambles, to only find broken walls. It is all that remains, to say what it once was. It is one of these upright pieces that has a hole where a missing stone affords a view to a remarkable parade of scenes. Each one, entirely separate from those before and after. These can be viewed, but only by those who are privy to the exact time and date that this occurs; this being just once a year. For such folk, to whom it is given to know, may watch, as the kaleidoscope of images go by.

The story goes that such things as a team of unicorns racing away into the distance, a tower of white marble at night, with all its windows lit, a swarm of locusts creating a great circular pattern across the sky, a troop of mandrills tumbling over and down a waterfall, a clown astride a horse juggling multicoloured balls, a beggar dressed in a cat suit strumming a lute and an elephant on its back spinning a large sequined ball with all four feet. All these and more are there, for those who can see.

Considering the nature of these ostentatious trifles, I can’t for the life of me understand why anybody would bother!

He was making his way down the steps when he heard it.

It seemed to be surprisingly loud when he considered that he wasn’t even in the building. It had to be the security alarm from the shop. What could have set it off? Maybe something had fallen over, only moments after he left. As always, he’d been very careful when removing the glass panels from the jewellery display cabinets. Again, as always, he had filled his backpack quickly and taken great care not to disturb anything unnecessarily for the few minutes he was in there. Yes, something must have fallen. Still standing motionless on the step, he shrugged his shoulders, feeling the weight on his back. It was a good haul, much larger than he’d expected. Perhaps, with this stuff fenced off he could call it quits. Did he actually believe this? Could he actually do that?

He was thinking about all this when he heard the siren. It had to be a police car, and it was getting louder. He couldn’t return to his car, parked a couple of blocks away. He would have to leg it.

He was halfway down the fire escape when it came over him. There it was, in those few seconds, an epiphany.

At the bottom of the steps, he began running. At the end of the alley, he took the backstreets. Aware of the load on his back, he ran faster than he’d run in all his life. As he did, the sudden and amazingly powerful insight into the reality of where he was and what he was doing with his life, had come crashing in on him, during those few seconds back at the building.

As he raced through the darkened streets, making his way back to his apartment, his future plans were forming. Completely exhausted, he began walking as he entered his street. At the apartment block, he entered his flat as quietly as possible.

Dropping his backpack, he lay on his bed and finished his deliberations.

He wouldn’t use a fence this time, but fly to Amsterdam direct. He had the address of a small jewellery shop. He would get a better return there. Banking arrangements made; he’d fly to Madrid. He was there with an old girlfriend a few years back. His earlier experience, gained working on construction sites, would give him a start, not that he’d be short of money. After a while, he’d find something less physically demanding, maybe an office job…

A year later, he was waiting at tables in Salamanca, a changed man, going straight, giving time to charity work in his spare time. In other words, he was a new man.

Not many jewel thieves could do that!