Author: Alexander Fawn

This story is all about pretence.

Believe it or not, it begins in a place that doesn’t’ really exist, and at a time that is purely fictional. It involves a number of people who are entirely made up. This all starts to happen when those imaginary people only pretend to do things and only talk to each other in a make-belief way, about situations that also simply don’t exist. It is really hard to believe that an illusory storey such as this, based completely on concepts that are unreal, invented and totally fanciful, could in any way be truly part of what is an apparently real world.

Whether you like it or not, it probably all begins in the whimsical mind of a writer, who, as it happens, is also imaginary.

The young girl sat in her room looking at all the stuffed toys on her shelf.

Again, she looked at the monkey that sat at the end. He was new. Well, no, he was the latest. In fact, he was very old and worn. She’d been told that the old lady who lived on her own, in the cottage at the end of the street, had given it to her mother the day before. She said that her daughter might like it. In fact, she knew how much her daughter liked such things. Although surprised at receiving the unexpected gift, her mother was moved by her kindness and suggested that she be grateful and put it with the others. So, this is what she did. Of course, the girl had no idea that the toy was in fact a sentient being…

The first inkling of this fact came about when, on the following morning she discovered it, not at the end, but in the middle of the shelf.

From that point on, each morning she would find something had been moved; a chair, a book or a pencil case. Then, finally, it spoke. By this time, she wasn’t at all surprised at this. In fact, over the following days the girl and the monkey struck up quite a special friendship. It was at this point that she conveyed all these events to her mother. She felt that her mother didn’t really believe her.

Her parents, not actually being taken aback by the imaginings of their daughter, discussed the situation anyway. She had suggested a visit to a child psychologist, while he thought the whole thing was perfectly natural and would simply pass in time.

Meanwhile, the monkey, feeling that he could trust his newfound friend, had shown her how the panel at the back of her small clothes closet could slide to one side, revealing a set of descending stairs. It was down there that she discovered several more stuffed animals, all of whom could speak and move about at will.

After several visits to the basement with the monkey, she wondered whether she should tell her mother about it.

After much thought, she decided against it.

He began to make a mental list of all the things he’d really like to do.

He had already thought of a couple of things, before he realised, he was concocting a bucket list. He had often wanted to write a poem, just a short one, and the thought of going bungee jumping had always excited him, it looked dangerous but it must be safe. He would like to milk a cow; that sounded silly, but he would. He wasn’t sure why, but he would like to learn how to knit. He would also like to take piano lessons and learn about photography, take horse riding lessons and learn how to waterski. He would really like to cross a wobbly suspension bridge, go ziplining, attend a pop concert, go on a cruise ship, complete a one-thousand-word jigsaw puzzle, go cave exploring, go up and come down landing on water in a seaplane.

He would even like to go for a ride in a gondola in Venice or maybe go and see the pyramids in Egypt!

He would stop dreaming about such things

He knew full well that frogs couldn’t do any of that.

He was thumbing through the pages of his magazine when he found the advert.

He was sitting up in bed, not wanting to get up, reading his latest science fiction review. It was something he often did. The ad for the very latest time device had him really excited. Today, he decided, he would text the boss to say that he was sick. He would say that he needed to rest up awhile before coming in. This would give him time to look into what the transportation company was selling. He tapped in the message and received an OK to take time off. Although time travel machines had come a long way in recent decades, most of them were large and pretty clunky. This, on the other hand, was a small device that can be worn on the wrist. He decided he would get up, wash and shave, before sitting down to give proper attention to the details of what was on offer.

Sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, he soon found that the item was very expensive. In fact, it would clean out nearly all of his savings. The ad gave an internet address for more information. Setting up his laptop, he began to read.

It was immediately obvious that the thing came with a lot of red tape. On the screen, he waded through seventeen pages of instructions! He considered that he understood most of it. After a few more pages of warnings and disclaimers, he came across a section that said he would need to sign and return a waiver, before it could be sent. He was determined not to be put off by any of it and set about making the purchase.

A few days later, and surprised that his manager had not harassed him about his absence, the tiny parcel came. He unwrapped it without hesitation. It was amazingly small, just as the website had described it. It was about the size of a smart watch. Flipping the back cover off, as instructed, he looked at the three dials and the two positional switches. He was keen to get it up to standby stage. He manipulated the controls from what he could remember.

Satisfied that it was ready to operate, he strapped it on and pressed the power switch.

At that moment, a whisp of acrid smoke began to rise from the device, followed by a loud ‘pop’!

He was thumbing through the pages of his magazine when he…

The fact was, it was simply too quiet for her.

She was sitting in the lounge armchair, wishing she had someone to talk to. At the very least, she needed to have some sort of sound happening around her, even if they weren’t very loud, just enough to let her know that she wasn’t in the house alone. Her husband was at work, naturally, but it was school holidays and both her kids were at home. The silence made her feel totally ignored. When they were younger there was always a racket going on. There’d be shouting, crying and laughing echoing through the place all hours of the day. She looked up at the ceiling. They were both in their rooms, most likely playing computer games.

The solution came to her.

Having a strong sense of new-found purpose, she got up and crossed the room. Finding the switch on the back of the modem, she flipped the thing off.

She returned to her chair, and waited…

He missed the train by just two minutes.

It was a cold evening with a constant, chilly wind blowing along the platform. The weather forecasters had definitely got it wrong today. He looked up at the display. It told him he had a fifteen-minute wait before the next one was due. He began stamping his feet to keep warm. It wasn’t working. He looked around at the dozen or so passengers, most of them were doing the same. After about five minutes the cold really began to bight. He was so focused on the fact that, like most of the others, his clothes didn’t suit the weather, he hadn’t noticed the man next to him had moved a little closer. He was quite short and wore a large hat. He was amazed to note that the man was also wearing a heavy overcoat with a great woollen scarf wrapped around his neck.

Sideling up even closer, the man said, “You know, I’ve just been reading this really great book.”

He said, “Oh, yes,” out of politeness and looked to see if the train might possibly arrive early.

“Yes, for instance, did you know that there’s this island that France and Spain take turns owning, every six months they sort of swap around, and I found out it was actually a dentist that invented the electric chair and believe it or not, the opposite sides of a die will always add up to seven, that a blob of toothpaste is called a nurdle, women blink nearly twice as much as men, the King of Hearts is the only king in a deck of cards without a moustache, bees have five eyes and that nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.”

Feeling that he had to reply, the man said, “No, I didn’t know any of that,” while wondering what had attracted the pesky little man to pick on him.

The other went on. “Not many people know that ketchup was used medicinally in the early 1800s or that maps sometimes have fake placenames to prevent plagiarism, that about one trillionth of a second is called a jiffy, that a snail can sleep for three years, your body contains about 100,000 miles of blood vessels, a crocodile is not able to stick out its tongue, that the cigarette lighter was invented before the match or that apple seeds contain cyanide.” He grinned up at the other.

Despite the man feeling that the unwanted pest was actually making both the wait and the cold even worse, he mumbled, “Oh. Really? You don’t say.”

“Ah! But I do say. I bet you didn’t know that Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise or that playing dance music can help ward off mosquitoes, that babies are born without kneecaps, that a cat’s jaw cannot move sideways, that your fingernails grow faster on your dominant hand, that your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every fortnight, that the house fly hums in the middle octave key of F, that dragonflies have six legs, but can’t walk, that Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have a belly button or that a female mayfly only lives for five minutes. Only five minutes! I bet you didn’t know that.” He looked up at the other with wide-eyed wonder. “Just think of that. I mean, just imagine, what would you do if you only had five minutes to live?”

With a wince and a shudder, the man said, “I would certainly start looking for someone better to spend my time with.”

At which point, he moved further down the platform.

He sat quietly reflecting on his past sins.

He had a burning need, in this place, to confront those things he had done. It was time to own up to those wrongdoings that he alone was fully responsible for, in an earlier part of his life. It all seemed to be such a long time ago, but in truth, it wasn’t. These transgressions had been weighing on his conscience of late, despite his present circumstances. He realised that it was time for him to face up to the full measure of it. He opened his eyes slowly and sighed. He began in a low whisper.

“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned…”

Suddenly, the guilt of it, had him swallow hard. Moments later, he began again.

“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I used your password to clear out your bank account and transfer all of it to a bank in Hong Kong. From there I have drawn out money to pay for a small luxury villa on Mexico’s Caribbean coast, where I am now living comfortably.”

There! That got if off his chest.

He sat back in his comfy chair with its view of the mesmerizing, sparkling waters of the Caribbean Sea.

“You mean old sod.” He added.

The three men sat discussing their erstwhile friend.

The truth was, none of them had ever really liked him. They all agreed that he always had to be right about everything and always had to have the last word. He was forever telling really bad jokes that were in bad taste and got annoyed when others didn’t find them funny. He often ridiculed others regarding their ethnicity or religion. He was a born risktaker, especially when he was behind the steering wheel of a car. Although married he had always been boastful about his affairs with other women. He would brag about how he never helped with household chores, but regarded that sort of thing should be left to his wife. They all knew that he had a violent streak in him. It had often got him into trouble with the police. He was a heavy drinker, sometimes getting into fights with other patrons in pubs.

However, they weren’t so much concerned about the body buried in the garden as the problem they now faced regarding finding a suitable replacement for when they play doubles at the Tennis club every Saturday afternoon.

The young couple had recently moved into a newly built house.

They were at number 11, located in a new housing estate. It was only days later that a couple, of around a similar age, arrived and took up residence next door, at number 13. The day following their arrival, the man from 13 came knocking on their door. He wanted to know what days the garbage trucks came through. It just so happened that 11 had never thought about it. They informed 13 that they would make a call and find out, then let them know. They got the impression that 13 was disappointed with the response he received. Number 11 were surprised by that, but knew that they needed to be nice, because, after all, they were their neighbours.

The following day, the woman from 13 appeared at their front door. She was immediately informed about the day garbage trucks did their rounds. This information was instantly dismissed, being told that she knew that. The woman at 11 turned and went back into the house. 13 said that her husband wanted to know if they intended to put grass down at the front and if so, how often did he intend to mow it.

Number 11 said he hadn’t thought about it, but was happy to let them know when the time came. Their neighbour only shrugged and went on to ask whether they both worked and if so, what times did they leave for work in the mornings.

The man at number 11 had really had enough. Although, as a couple, they had decided to put up with the couple from 13, he decided to put an end to the relationship by saying that before they are asked about what mail they received and how often they cleaned their teeth, he would like her to go home and not call on them again, ever!

Slamming the door in the woman’s face, he went in to let his partner know what had transpired.

Three long, uncomfortable days later, a removal vehicle pulled up outside number 13. The couple at 11 stood at their front window and watched the comings and goings of the removalists bringing out 13’s belongings. Eventually, it and the people from 13, drove away.

The couple from 11 immediately jumped into their car, found a newsagency and bought a lottery ticket.

Whether or not the ticket was a winner, all of this is Indisputable proof that happy endings do happen.

It was getting late, but she was determined to finish the crossword.

She had always been fond of crossword puzzles. Now, with her son tucked up in bed, the dishes cleared away, the news and a show watched on the box, she liked to finish it off before going to bed. Sometimes, she would get it finished on the train, going in and travelling home from the city, most times not. This was the quietest time of the evening. For some reason, the newspaper had offered up a tricky one, but she didn’t mind the challenge. In fact, she enjoyed it. Tonight, she had managed to get it down to the last five clues. She sat staring at the paper. It was on the tip of her tongue. Seventeen across, ‘maltreatment’, six letters, the first ‘a’, the last ‘e’. With a soft moan of success, she entered the word ‘abuse’.

Sitting back, she thought about how such a thing had once been a part of her life. Memories began to swirl around, about what it had been like back then. This was something she hadn’t really dwelt on for such a long time. He had been such a brute of a man. What had she ever seen in him? The drinking and the violence began soon after their marriage. He deserted her a few weeks after her son was born. He was five now, and her life as a single mum has settled into a much better routine. Those first years after he left, with no alimony payments to support her, were definitely the hardest, but now…

Her reverie was broken by her cell phone ringing.

Looking at the time and the unknown number, she hesitated before answering. Picking the phone up, she accepted the call. A woman came on, and after confirming that she was speaking with the right person, said she was phoning from the city’s main hospital about her husband.

She went on, saying, “Looking at the records, we see that you are listed as the person to notify. I’m afraid, your husband has been hit by a car while crossing a road, this evening. The medics believe he had been drinking. He is currently in intensive care, but he does require emergency surgery. I see that he doesn’t appear to have any medical cover currently…”

No longer listening, she ended the call and returned to her crossword.