Author: Alexander Fawn

The two men were bent over their screens writing blurbs for the advertising agency.

Without warning, a great clap of thunder shook the building and made the office widows rattle as though they might shatter and fall apart. They both got up and went to a window.

“Crikey!” said Brian, the younger man. “There was nothing on the forecast about this was there?”

“Not that I saw,” said Tom, the senior writer for the company. “Look at that front coming in. We are in for some rough weather by the look of it. How strange! I bet nobody in this building brought an umbrella today.” They both smiled at the thought and sat back at their desks as the rain started to pound the building.

“Of course, you weren’t in yesterday,” said Tom, “I bet you can’t guess who turned up here out of the blue.”

“Go on.”

“Archie.”

“Archie?”

“The very man. Came rushing in here, as though he’d been invited! Sat right there and went on about his latest creation.”

“Glad I missed that,” said Brian.

“I know, he was very excited about the preface he had written for the Editing Manual that he’s been working on. You know, the one he’s been putting together for… well, for goodness knows how long! I can only think that the people he’s working for must be extremely patient.”

Brian shook his head. “Did you find out what this masterpiece was?”

“Oh! More than that, he brought a thick folder full of typed A4 pages with him. He sat reading it for a while, then handed me a copy of it; as though I would actually ever want to read it!”

“Really?”

“Really, do you want to hear his preface?”

“Sure.”

Tom opened his desk and drew out the heavy buff folder, packed with sheets of paper. He sorted through then held one up to read.

“This is what he wrote,” said Tom with a condescending grin on his face.

‘Just about any person who finds themselves confronted by the task of editing another person’s written material will undoubtedly have considerations about its quality, and at times, its relevance. However, it stands to reason, albeit a self-serving one, that someone actually wants the work done and is therefore prepared to pay for it. It could be construed as something of a moral dilemma for an editor, when viewing such tendered material, material that may very well leave such an editor with an unwavering sense of professional disdain.’

Brian sat wide-eyed for a while then asked, “Did he really write that?”

The other nodded. “He certainly did.”

Brian gazed out the office window into the darkening sky and pelting rain. “That,” he said “as a preface to a manual, is just about as surprising as this storm. Why would he dwell on anything that negative at the beginning of the manual?”

“Beats me; because I hadn’t seen it coming, I had a job keeping a straight face. He seemed so enthusiastic about the whole thing; so I was being careful not to upset him; but he pushed.”

“Pushed?”

“Yes, you know. What did I think of it? …and how he would appreciate my professional opinion.”

“Oh! No! What did you say?”

“Well, it was all rather awkward, as you may well imagine. I figured that I should be honest in the nicest possible way… not to hurt his feelings, you understand.”

“Sure, what did you say?”

“I said that because I was unprepared for what he had read, I found it to be somewhat unexpected.”

“Right. What did he say?”

“He said he thought that was an unusual word to use. He looked pretty upset, and his face started to go red. But to be honest, I was getting tired of the whole business; you know, his unannounced visit, his weird preface, now him quizzing me because he didn’t like my answer.”

“What happened?”

“Well, he asked me what my understanding of the word unexpected was.” Tom pulled a face. “I probably shouldn’t have…” he paused.

Brian said “Go on.”

“OK. I said that for me the unexpected was getting a puncture, or having a bird swoop past my face, or getting to the end of a puzzle and finding a piece missing, or having an ambulance start up its siren right behind me, or finding money in one of my old trouser pockets. I added that the last one would probably be my favourite. I probably shouldn’t have said that; but hey! I was really fed up with the guy.”

Brian raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “Wow! I bet he was mad.”

“That’s the funny thing. He wasn’t! He just sat staring at his folder. He finally looked up at me. Ï started to apologise, or at least I think that’s what I was doing, when he suddenly got all excited and started to rabbit on about how important a glossary was and that he was sure he had got that one covered. I asked him what he meant, but he just kept telling me to hang on while he sorted through his paperwork.”

Tom went back to the folder now lying on his desk.

“Do you want to know what he read out to me?”

“Of course,” replied Brian, leaning forward with obvious interest.

Tom lifted out a page. “Here it is; part of the glossary for Archie’s manual. I quote.”

‘The Unexpected – The unexpected, albeit a common enough occurrence in the life of an Editor, is not generally predicted because if it was it wouldn’t be unexpected. This goes a long way to explaining why people don’t usually look out for or anticipate the unexpected. The unscheduled nature of the unexpected may well result in either a pleasant or an unpleasant surprise. Since the prospect of an unexpected event is most unlikely, this author is of the opinion that this sort of thing should remain the subject of random chance.’

Brian sat with his mouth open, coming to terms with what he had heard, but for the moment quite unable to comment.

Tom said, “Well? What do you think?”

The other wiggled his shoulders and rolled his head, as if trying to wake up. He said “Crikey, I don’t know what to think! Tell me; what did you say?”

Tom smiled and said, “I just told him it was unexpected!”

Alice climbed out of bed and made ready for her morning run.

This was her weekday ritual. Before catching her bus to work she would get into her running gear, do a little warm up to the end of the street, cross over the main road, run through the park and out onto the sealed path that ran parallel to the coast. She would do five kilometres, ending at the Surf Club, take a short break, and then make her way back. She loved these runs and the weather today was just perfect. Once she was on the coastal track she would use earplugs to listen to music.

As she felt around in her small back-pack she had strapped behind her, she found her music player but was annoyed to find she had forgotten her mobile phone! She could see it now on the dresser; how dumb was that? Things went from bad to worse when she found the player’s batteries were flat. No music, no phone, she was tempted to go back but that didn’t make sense, and it would certainly make her late for work. So, she decided to carry on with her run. After all, that was the main point of it, wasn’t it? Wasn’t this the whole reason for getting up that little bit earlier in the mornings? Yes; the run was the main thing; the thing she really enjoyed doing.

As Alice ran along beside the sea, she could hear the rhythm of the waves washing in below. It was a soothing sound and she felt tempted to run down to the beach. She made her turn around point and rested a while to catch her breath. As she started back she found the desire to spend just a minute or two, watching and listening to the waves that she could only hear from the path. She finally relented, stopped and rested for a moment before climbing down through sand and rocks to get a view of the coast. She settled down just short of the beach in a cranny of rocks. She was virtually unseen here and it was shady, out of the wind and giving her a perfect view.

Alice sat very still, taking in the beauty of the scene spread out before her; she listened to the soothing sounds of the waves breaking on the beach and breathed in the smell of the salty sea air. She closed her eyes. This was heaven! It was peace. It was… a kind of tranquillity that swept over her with nothing else happening or pushing its way into her life. She felt a sense of freedom. No phone, no music… but right now, no clocks, no TV, no home computer, no intrusions, no people. She was disconnected. It was a wonderful feeling and it brought about a sense that her life should be looked at, analysed even. Had she the time? Of course she had the time. She would phone in sick when she got back. She liked her work at the office and had always done well in her job; there would be no problem taking a day off.

Bit by bit she looked at her current life. She had been feeling a kind of information overload for several months now without stopping to think about it. In her private life she was finding it more and more difficult to make decisions while being bombarded with too much information. Her phone was a classic example. It was loaded with so many apps, and she no longer looked at most of them. She would definitely thin that right down… or better still, strip the apps out and take it right back to simply being a phone again! Wow! She could do that. At the same time go through her enormous list of contacts and reduce it to those few people important in her life.

She thought about Colin. They had been dating for months but it wasn’t going anywhere and she knew it. They were supposed to go to a nightclub in the city tomorrow night; she would cancel. It would be a start. Let him down gently. The more she thought about it all, the more things she thought of that she needed to change.

After a couple more hours of soul-searching her head was full of stuff. She climbed back up, ran home, phoned in sick, got hold of a common or garden pencil and a piece of paper and started a to-do list.

He was watching television when he heard the thud.

It came from the back. He nearly dropped his glass. He got up and staggered to the window. It was probably those horrible kids again. The little buggers should be tucked up in bed this time of night. He couldn’t see anything but decided to check anyway. He grabbed his torch on the way out. It was a black night and getting cold. He panned his torch around. There was something in the middle of his back lawn; it looked like a ball. These little sods where forever throwing things into his garden.

He had gone round to have a word with the woman just once. Very polite he was. Asked if she could have a word with her children about throwing stuff over. She was belligerent. Said kids would be kids and there was nothing she could do about it. She all but told him to get lost. Miserable cow!

He went forward and shone his torch on it. It was a rock! He couldn’t believe it. They were chucking rocks over the fence now. He shook his head. “I wish these bloody neighbours would pack up and leave” he said, in a voice loud enough for anyone about to hear. He stood and listened; all about him was complete silence. He shivered. No one would be outside in this cold weather, he thought.

He stooped down to get a closer look. For a rock, it was very round. It seemed to be covered with a greyish mist. He blew on it. The surface was clearer now; it was a strange colour. He put his torch down and went to pick it up, but it wouldn’t budge, it was half buried in the lawn. He kicked it a few times and it loosened up; enough for him to get his hands under it and lift it out. He struggled to his feet with it. It was very heavy. He tried wiping the soil off with one hand when something started sparkling just above his head. It startled him and he dropped the rock.

“Hello” said a tiny voice. “Don’t be afraid, no harm will come to you, on the contrary.” There was a tiny giggle.

“What…?” He was dumbfounded and could only repeat, “What?”

“It’s all right. You are very lucky; you have found a star.”

“A star?” He blurted.

“Yes. Well, sort of. It is extremely rare that they fall to Earth.”

“A star?” He repeated, staring blindly into the twinkling mass that now hovered in front of him. He thought he could make out a shape of some sort; like a tiny girl-like creature with fluttering wings. “This is a star?”

“Yes. I can explain if you like. It’s the mass of a white dwarf, the remnants of a dead star. It’s very dense, but cooled off in the night air now, as I’m sure you know.”

“This is a dead star?”

The shimmering began to fade. “Remember, you only have one wish.” With that, the image turned to black.

He stood dazed and thoroughly shaken. Crikey! How much had he drunk, two beers, three maybe? He would have to watch himself in future. He gave the rock another kick, then picked it up and carried it over to the rockery. He went back for his torch and swung the light over it. Hey! It didn’t look bad, not bad at all.

Inside, he saw five empty bottles and shook his head. Yes, he would have to cut down. He switched the telly off, locked up and went to bed.

In the morning, he stood staring at the sphere of rock nestled among the others and smiled at the thought of what his drunken stupor had conjured up.

As he turned to go in, he heard the big removal van pull up next door.

 

Sitting quietly alone, shuffling words,

In a clandestine way is exciting.

I get great joy from such solitary exile;

Being a lover of private writing.

–

It’s hard to escape the poetical bent,

Or a story that starts in your head;

And the race to capture the thoughts as they swirl,

Before you lose the thread.

–

There is no word strong enough,

Nor gentle enough to convey,

How precious it is for a writer to pen

In their own particular way.

There is no formula complex enough

To prescribe what a writer requires.

Each individual has their own working code

That helps, supports and inspires.

–

For me it’s a case of leaving

The real world far behind.

To immerse myself in the imaginary,

With no time restraints in mind.

–

With an addiction to narrative and rhyme,

The challenge is always exciting.

I get great joy from such solitary exile;

Being a lover of private writing.

Samantha was such a wag, always making people in the office laugh.

Her jokes were always corny, but her colleagues still laughed. She had the knack of making the day go faster with her crazy humour.

The day ended, and as usual Samantha was the first to leave. She liked to get a run in before she got dinner. As she went through the door she said “Well guys, if I don’t get mauled to death by a leopard while jogging around the park, I should see you guys tomorrow.” They all laughed and called out good night.

The next morning, the news about the trouble at the zoo and the death of a young woman in the park had spread like wildfire. The whole town was abuzz with the story of how a leopard had got out of its cage. It took several hours to track it down, capture and return it to the local zoo. It was even longer before Samantha’s body was discovered in a clump of bushes at the edge of the park.

“That makes no sense. I mean, how could this happen?” Said one of the office workers. “I mean, for heaven’s sake, it just doesn’t make sense,” she repeated, blowing her nose. “What are the odds?”

“Well…”

She turned to the man at the end of the room, who had been following the conversation, the company’s Statistical Analyst.

“Well what?”

He pointed at his screen “The odds do add up you know.”

“They do?”

“Oh! Yes. Knowing what we know about the circumstances…” He tapped a key dramatically and looked up.” To be as precise as one can be, the odds are 385.7 million to one!”

He sat back smiling at the screen.

“Thank goodness the math remains reliable.” He said “You can always rely on finding sanity in numbers.”

Tenzin was a monk with a murky past.

He had committed so many indiscretions that his brothers had lost count. That is why the other monks had sequestered him in the little patch of garden. It was fenced in by a low wall of stakes that had been covered with barbed wire. He was supposed to be there in order to repent. But Tenzin didn’t feel a bit like repenting. He’d had it with this religion. He figured it was broth time.

The Order had many virtues, but choice was not one of them. With each passing day in the monastery he had drifted away from the doctrine of predestination. A notion that the Almighty had, in consequence of his foreknowledge of all events, set out a path for all those destined for salvation. Some of the arguments that had taken place during the evening meal had become so heated that he had been sent off to bed without supper.

Yes, it was definitely broth time. He looked around his little plot. He had all of the ingredients right here in the garden; potatoes, celery, carrots and onions. As it happened, he was on kitchen duty.

That evening he was chopping up vegetables and dropping them into a pot. When he found himself alone with his chores, from under his garment he took a small bottle and gave it a shake. He did it once and he would do it again. He prayed desperately that he wouldn’t reincarnate as himself for the second time. What were the odds?

Meantime, he would conjure up a broth to die for.

Dotty was arranging tiny pieces of crockery, very neatly on a tea tray.

Cups and spoons were being placed carefully onto saucers. She felt the teapot, it was nice and hot. “That will do nicely” she said. As she returned the pot to the tray she heard something between a snort and a grunt. She looked up to find she had an unexpected visitor. A huge, shaggy, lime green gorilla-like thing sat looking at her. It took up more than half the room in her little cubby-house. It made a gurgling noise and rubbed its nose with a huge paw.

“Oh! Hello,” she said. “I’m Dotty, who are you?”

The thing’s huge eyes glared and it snarled ferociously.

“Oh! I see, you’re probably shy. Well, never mind.”

She swilled the water in the pot and said “You’re just in time for tea. Do you have a name?”

The thing just scratched its armpit.

She thought hard for a moment. “I think I’ll call you Archie. There’s a boy at my playgroup called Archie, but he’s not very nice. Oh! I hope you don’t mind?”

The thing didn’t answer, it only belched and started dribbling.

“That’s all right then, I’ll call you Archie.”

It held out two giant fists and beat its chest a few times.

“Oh! Yes, of course. I’m sure you are thirsty. Sorry Archie.”

She lifted the pot. “Shall I pour?”

His life wasn’t flashing past him by any means.

No. He’d been walking for more than three hours now, looking back at people and events, times he had enjoyed and times he had not. He was walking further and further away from home, further from any hospital, further from his medication on the shelf in the bathroom, further from the aid and help he could expect from friends and neighbours and the like. Is this what he was doing? Yes probably… most probably.

He had now made his way from the inland where he lived, to the sea. He found himself walking along a deserted beach where he could hear the waves rolling. He could smell the brine of the sea and feel the wind coming off the water; hitting him softly in the face. He had enjoyed this so much when he was a boy.

As a boy he had never been much of a swimmer, but just to go down to the sea, look for shells maybe, just to amble along without any care… Where did all the care come from? This care; the care he was feeling now. Why couldn’t he go back to the mindset he had? What was there to stop him?

What he was feeling was beyond any kind of insouciance, this was apathy.

Would he just keep walking and eventually tire to the point where he would have to lay down; lay down and die? How dramatic! Did this sort of thing happen? Bodies being found and people saying “Oh! Yes, poor soul, he or she had a terminal illness you know.” No; he had never heard of it; or maybe such cases were always hushed up. Not suitable for public consumption.

He stopped and looked up, the sky was darkening fast. He began to think about it all. He thought about how there will always be seas with crashing waves, fields with swaying flowers, forests with canopied trees, and people with life-threatening diseases. People will go on loving, dreaming, fighting, and dying. What had the priest said? It was just another test. He had told him it would all become clear on Judgement Day. For several months now, he had no longer felt part of the real world. Could he still appreciate the sheer wonder and perfection of nature and did he continue to comprehend the awesome power that created it all?

Nothing was the same after she went. Her passing had left him empty. Only the onset of this illness gave him something to think about; something to burst in and swamp his life. What he cherished was gone and what he loathed was upon him.

He was thinking of her now. Going back to happy times. He missed her smile and the joy she would exude when she brewed a coffee with her new machine. Lord! How she loved that machine. It wasn’t cheap. They had always loved coffee. He shuddered, and for the briefest of moments he heard the sound of it percolating. Yes, he actually heard it!

Perhaps that was it! All he had to do was listen again to the sound of her machine. He had never used it, she would never let him touch it!

He hadn’t had a decent cup of coffee since she passed away. There must be a book somewhere on how to use it, and there’s bound to be a bag of coffee beans in the cupboard. He could get it going. Make a cup; drink it in her honour. Surely, this was all much too simple. He felt himself smile at the very idea. He hadn’t smiled for months!

He turned for home.

One night, as a boy, in a wood growing dark,

Out much later than was good for me,

I stopped and watched a sitting bird,

Huge and still in the greying light,

On a vigil, on a branch, in a tree.

Some way from home and out too late

I should have hurried on.

But with the glow of its eyes

And its clever disguise,

All thought of being late was gone.

–

Its coat, it matched the bark of the tree.

It sat, a silhouette in grey.

With the poise of a silent guardian,

This bird with an ancient soul

Waiting for its prey.

–

To my young eyes the darkening scene

Was a comic book depiction.

There was a wonder in the moment;

A pastiche of TV images

All based in science fiction.

–

I stood stock still in the growing chill.

Was I emulating the bird?

With natures akin

Our heads would spin

Whenever a sound was heard.

–

I wondered if it minded me being there.

A young lad, facing it square.

Were my thoughts so wide of the mark?

Were we silently bonding in the dark?

Was this something that we could share?

–

At once, it dipped and glided past.

Its wing caressed my hair.

Was this a hello or a sign I should go?

I wondered whether I would ever know,

As I stood shuddering in the cold night air.

–

I cannot say how long I remained,

Standing alone on the track.

It is hard to say

Why there’s such lasting dismay,

That my owl never came back!

Jimmy had always thought it was important to do the right thing.

He believed that good things would always come back to reward anybody who did good works. He had always been an active member of his community, helping out at the church with anything required of him. His work in the youth hostel paid very little but he enjoyed what he did. After all, he was helping people.

The day he found the wallet he was working in the soup kitchen. He had dumped scraps in one of the bins out back and was walking back in, when he kicked something; a small, pink leather wallet. It could have been laying unnoticed for an age, out of the weather and half covered with leaves.

Jimmy opened it up and found it contained dozens of shopping receipts, a cosmetic representative’s business card and two dollars. The name on the card was Margaret Squires. He knew no one with that name, but recognised the nearby town from the printed address. If he was going to return it, and of course he would return it, he would have to use his car; but not before the weekend.

The following Saturday he took the cover off his car, it hadn’t been run for a while. Petrol was expensive and walking was fine; it usually served his needs. He topped up with a minimum of petrol and took off.

It should have been a twenty minute run but heavy downpour slowed the traffic to a crawl. It had just started to pick up when a heavy-laden truck skidded noisily, finally running into the back of him. His own car was pushed into the vehicle in front and within minutes all three drivers and several witnesses were all sheltering in a tiny bus shelter swapping insurance details.

All three vehicles had been pushed off the road, but eventually they all moved off back into the traffic. Jimmy’s car was running rough and finally stopped, creating a further traffic jam. He called a road assistance service to come out and assess his vehicle. This resulted in it being towed to a local garage for repair.

It was now getting dark but Jimmy knew there was no turning back. In order to do the right thing for the owner of the wallet he needed to bus or walk the rest of the way and figure out how he would get home later. He found and studied a timetable, but figured he would be better off just walking the final leg. It would only take around fifteen minutes.

In the meantime the rain had eased but storm clouds were gathering in the darkening sky. As he entered the town the rain grew heavier. He had previously looked up the location of the street but had to look again at the number. He sheltered in a shop doorway and took out the card. It wasn’t far now.

When he arrived at the house it was in darkness. Maybe the people there had turned in already, it was getting late. He could see a car at the side of the house, so he knocked at the door and waited. The rain was bucketing down and he stood close to the door for what little protection it gave him. After a couple of minutes he knocked again, this time louder.

A light finally came on and the door opened to show a sleepy-eyed woman in a dressing gown. “Who are you?” she snapped.

Jimmy stood with his jaw dropped. “You’re Maggie Worthington,” he blurted.

She frowned. “Not any more I’m not.”

“Don’t you recognise me? I’m Jimmy Jarvis. We… we used to go out together, you remember, when we were at school.”

“Oh! God! Yes, of course I remember. I broke up with you. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I came to return your wallet.” He pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to her. “I did my best to keep it dry. It is yours, isn’t it?”

She opened it saying “Yes. I lost it ages ago, but knew it hardly had anything in it so I wasn’t bothered about it.” She looked up. “Two dollars, is that all?”

“Well, yes, but…”

“Let me get this straight,” she interrupted. “You came all this way in the pouring rain to wake me up to return a wallet with only two dollars in it; and to someone you thought was an absolute stranger?”

“Well, yes, it was the right thing to…”

“No wonder I dumped you,” she shouted, and slammed the door.