Author: Alexander Fawn

He should have been driving much slower.

The narrow road was unlit and the night seemed to have no moon. There was no reason for him to be in a hurry. The girl on the bike came out from nowhere. He felt the impact and jammed on the brake. Climbing out, he walked to the front. The bicycle was mangled beneath his front wheel. The girl had been hurled some distance away and was lying motionless on the side of the road. He knelt and felt for a pulse. There wasn’t one! He sat down on the verge, with thoughts racing through his head. His better self said he should make a call; get it reported without delay. The devil on his shoulder told him to move on. He thought about the amount of alcohol that was still in his system. He thought about his speeding fines.

As he drove away, he felt sure that the scene wouldn’t be discovered until first light.

In the days that followed, he could not shake off what he had done. Every time he allowed his thoughts to return to the decision he had made that night; an unavoidable guilt consumed him. He knew he really needed to make amends.

It was several weeks later that he returned to the spot at night, where it had happened. He had with him an item of atonement. He had taken a trip to a florist, away from where he lived. There, he had bought an expensive bunch of flowers. The road was deserted when he pulled up. He quickly laid them on the verge, and just as quickly drove on.

Of course, he had no way of knowing that she had never liked Lilies.

The man in the computer repair workshop was not at all happy.

In fact, he was in a dreadfully low mood. Despite there being two other technicians in the computer lab, it always fell to him to clean up faulty motherboards. He was thoroughly sick of it. As a result, today, he had been using cans of non-flammable freezer spray to repair faulty boards. This was done to rapidly cool components to detect intermittent thermal faults, dry joints and overheating problems. Dirty boards were always giving trouble. Even a fingerprint, left by an ignorant pc owner, can cause a short circuit. After all, it’s the most vulnerable part of a computer that controls everything!

He was thinking about this, along with an article he’d recently read in a science magazine about how the universe came about. The Big Bang theory stated that it all began at a time when every bit of the universe’s energy, even the tiniest speck of it, was compacted into a single miniscule point. Then, at the point when it exploded with unbelievable force, it sent matter out to create a vast number of galaxies and the entire universe, as we know it.

He had a plan slowly coming together. Although it was quite an unimaginable and utterly ridiculous notion to entertain, because of his extremely unhappy state of mind, the thought of it was consoling.

All this was on his mind when the lab manager came by to ask how it was going.

Looking up at his boss, he said, “I have a plan.”

Taken aback by this, the other asked, “What sort of plan?”

The technician held up the can of freezer spray. “I would need an extremely large version of this. Plus, I’d need to travel back to the beginning. You know, the very beginning… the beginning of everything. Before the Big Bang.”

Confused and frowning, the other said, “OK. What then?”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“No, not really.”

“I’d give it a damn good spray before the rotten thing went off!”

The very patient, young philosophy student stood waiting behind the woman at the checkout.

He could see that the gum-chewing girl serving her was struggling with all the questions and grievances. The woman was obviously not happy about some of the items she was purchasing. She was asking why it was so hard to clearly show the use-by-dates on products, and how she had noticed a lack of allergen statements on some of the packaging, and how some items had inadequate storage instructions, and how some of the products don’t clearly state what the lowest amounts of sodium, saturated fat and added sugars are… It seemed to go on and on. He couldn’t help admiring the suppressed indifference of the checkout operator. As a student, he was studying stoicism at the time. He felt for her, so he cleared his throat.

The woman turned, glared at him, then carried on, saying “…and look, these cooking instructions are quite wrong. You should never wash raw chicken before cooking it!”

At this, the girl removed her gum and stuck it somewhere under the counter. Closing her eyes momentarily while shaking her head, she said, “Look madam, people buy these items all the time, we’ve never had any complaints!”

At this, the shopper grunted, paid and left.

The frazzled girl on the checkout ignored the student for several moments, while she watched the woman push her trolly through the centre, making for the exit. Then, she glanced back at the young man with a pained expression.

He smiled supportively. “That German guy, Friedrich, he got it right, didn’t he?”

She gave a frown that said he may well be her next problem. She sighed and said, “Sorry?”

“When he said, everything matters, nothing’s important, that is.”

She just stared.

“No one thing is important,” he went on, “because it all is. Everything matters and everything is important. That being the case, how do you prioritize importances? It’s a case of all or nothing… Friedrich went for nothing.”

She was still staring.

With raised eyebrows, he repeated, “I think he got it right, don’t you?”

She looked up at the clock while peeling the wrapper off another stick of gum. Popping it in her mouth, she nodded and gave him a tight smile. Then, after chewing for a bit, she gave a tired shrug and said, “Whatever”.

The young man was withdrawing twenty dollars from the ATM when he spotted it.

His remaining bank balance looked wrong. He knew he wasn’t that good with numbers, but it looked much too high. He reckoned that he should have around $120 in his account, not $766.34. When he got home, he went on line and checked. It appeared to be right, but he saw that a credit of $642.19, an odd amount, had been deposited overnight, bringing his balance to $766.34! He stared at the screen. He figured that it was some kind of error and the bank would correct it. For now, he would wait and see. He would check tomorrow and would likely see that it had been removed, along with an email of explanation and an apology from the bank. However, that didn’t happen. In fact, when he opened his account, he found that a further $642.19 had been added.

It soon became apparent that these strange deposits were going to continue to occur on a daily basis. After several months of this, with his bank balance nudging $200,000, he decided to make hay, while the sun shone. With this in mind, he quit his job at the scrap yard, bought himself a very nice suit along with several new outfits, a brand-new sports car and a two-week round-the-world cruise.

On his return, he found a letter from the bank was waiting for him. It was several days old and contained an apology for the clerical error. Noting that the mistake was not of his doing, the bank was happy to accept the repayments in moieties.

She was thrilled when she received the invitation.

It would be a glittering affair, knowing that the prince was very wealthy. She could well imagine that if he looked on her with favour the coming occasion held great possibilities for her. It may well herald a tremendous change in her life! She made a real effort to purchase the most becoming outfit for the ball. There would be other suitors there, but she felt that her looks alone would make her princess material. Everything was very expensive. The gown would flow nicely when they danced and her crystal slippers would complement the sparkling tiara she wore. She would attend with a sense of unshakeable confidence.

On the night, she certainly caught his eye. He danced with several of the young beauties, but far more often with her. At the end of the evening, her dress was still flowing gracefully and the tiara had managed to stay on, but the slippers, being made of such a hard material, were making her feet hurt. In the cloakroom she called for a taxi on her mobile and gratefully removed the shoes. Her feet didn’t look the best and she decided to make her way to the taxi rank with bare feet. Despite this, considering the prince had been eyeing her up and down all evening, she felt that her future was in the bag.

Arriving home, she realised that she must have dropped one of her slippers somewhere, either in the taxi or when she was climbing in. Considering how costly they were, she would make enquiries the following day.

As it turned out, this idea was cancelled the moment she heard that the prince was going door to door looking for the found slipper’s owner. To add to her excitement and to a degree, her ego, he was offering a reward.

When he came knocking at her door, she tried to remain calm. He didn’t seem to recognise her, but at the sight of what she was holding, he smiled and clapped his hands softly, handed her the money, took the shoe and left without a word.

Needless to say, she was gobsmacked.

Maybe the guy was a crossdresser.

Whatever…

He only wanted the shoe!

The writer knew what to write, but needed to find a good opening.

This, in itself, was a strange thing for him, but nowhere near as peculiar as how he could possibly be in possession of such knowledge in the first place. The fact was that the woman in apartment 2a was opening a letter, while at that very same moment the girl in 3c was in her bedroom opening a drawer, the boy at 1b was opening his computer and the woman in 3b was opening a packet of cereal. A woman at 2c was opening the fridge, while the man was in the bathroom opening a cabinet. The woman in 3a was opening a microwave, while the elderly gentleman in 1c sat opening his book, while the woman cooking in the kitchen at number 2b was opening a window and the boy in 1a was opening a can of soda.

Despite the fact that all these otherwise quite unremarkable events occurred simultaneously, at the exact same moment, as it were; the remarkable nature of it left him still searching for an appropriate opening…

There can be absolutely no doubt that thirteen is an unlucky number.

A careful inspection of those details recorded on the day in question can remove any and all hesitation regarding the truth of it. The verifiable facts of the matter are that it was on Friday the thirteenth that the number 13 bus, from the city’s bus depot number 13, was running 13 minutes behind schedule and travelling down 13^th Street at 13 kilometres-an-hour over the limit. It was thirteen minutes past twelve when the seasoned, thirteen-years-on-the-job bus driver simply failed to see the thirteen-year-old boy run out in front of him. From the crowd that gathered following the accident, thirteen calls for an ambulance were made.

Unhappily, the boy died of his injuries thirteen minutes after the accident.

He had paid a publishing company to get his book onto bookshelves.

As a self-published author, he felt it would give him greater control over his ongoing hobby. Being a private sort of person, he wrote under a nom de plume. These notions of maintaining a sense of seclusion didn’t last long. Within a matter of months, he had been approached by an agent that advised him of the interest being shown by a major film studio and their desire to use his book to produce a movie. After a number of meetings and a great deal of official paperwork, a contract was drawn up and production began on the film. It was during this hectic period that the studio had been approached by another company that wanted to use the original work to create a tv series.

This second turn of events caused the already growing fame and fortune of the previously unknown author to escalate tenfold. However, this second option had made things additionally complex. This resulted in him having a number of discussions with his agent, during which both the pros and cons of what was being proposed were considered. During these talks, the agent had explained that there were pitfalls associated with agreeing to this latest proposal. As a result of this, he was advising caution.

He was thinking about all this, when his alarm clock went off, stuffing the whole thing up!

He was touring alone, using a rental car and booking accommodation as he travelled around the country. This was the holiday he had been promising himself for several years. Ever since his tenure at the university was made permanent. Giving never-ending lectures on human biology, could take a back seat. This was a completely different life. The narrow road that passed through the place had very old and interesting buildings on either side. He was creeping along, gazing around, mesmerised by the sights. He became aware of the fact that he was becoming quite emotional about what he was seeing. He couldn’t help feeling that the people here had such a wonderful life.

He spotted a café and parked. Getting out of the car and taking in the surroundings made him realise how much his current life, back in the city, lacked so much of the real beauty that the world had to offer.

Naturally, as he entered, the café owner eyed him as an unexpected stranger, but was very patient taking his order for a coffee; this being done mainly through mime.

The cafe had a veranda at the back that had sweeping views of the surrounding countryside. He sat, waiting for his coffee. He had never been more completely at ease and comfortable with his surroundings. Such a place was worlds away from the gloomy halls of academia.

The owner came through with his drink and smiled as he put it down.

He thanked him and pointed out into the distance. “I must say, this is a lovely, little village, you really couldn’t ask for more, could you?”

“Eh?”

“I mean to say, just look at it out there, the magnificent view down into the valley below.”

The other repeated, “Eh?”

“Ah! So sorry. You don’t speak English.”

The man shrugged. “Sorry, only little English, some words, not much.”

The tourist nodded. “Sorry, I was commenting on life here.”

The man frowned. “What is… life?”

“Ah! A good question. Life for me, as a human on this planet, is made up of a great number of different organisms that, to a greater or lesser degree, have the physical ability to mature, reproduce and reason.”

The man’s expression was hard to read. Before walking away, he pointed to the coffee and said, “Enjoy.”

It was in the normal way of things, that the man found him while walking his dog.

Whereas, it was not uncommon to find the odd vagrant kipping overnight on one of the park benches, this was different. He was not lying on it, but sitting; although slumped forward with his hands in his lap. The man was wearing an expensive looking suit with highly polished shoes that seemed to be new. It was because of this person’s incongruous appearance, along with the fact that the dogwalker happened to be a reasonably decent citizen that he tried to wake him. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he gave a gentle shake. There was no response. Next, he pressed two fingers into the man’s neck and found a pulse. It was at this point that the man mumbled something unintelligible. The man used his mobile to call for an ambulance.

It was some time later, that the mysterious patient was laid out on a bed in an examination room, with a number of medical staff trying to assess his condition. The occasional mumbling, a repetition of two, hard to decipher words, still providing the only clue as to what had caused the man to remain unconscious.

As a result of the singularly strange way that the patient had presented, word had got around. Several medical staff stood around, while the duty doctor held an ear the man’s mouth. After listening for some time, he said, “He seems to be saying, ‘culpus nitus’. Sounds like Latin, but perhaps not.”

With this information, several mobile phones came out and a number of searches began. After a few beats, one of the nurses said, “Yes. I thought so, I’ve confirmed it. Culpus is a family name. I looked it up under Family Histories and Genealogy”. She smiled at the doctor. “Does that help?”

“I’m not sure,” came the reply.

Another nurse said, “I’ll do some research on the department’s main computer,” and left the room.

The intern spoke next. “He’s not saying nitrous, is he? That’s something to do with nitric compounds, I think.”.

This had all gone on for some time, with nitus having everyone stumped. It wasn’t likely to be a European manufacturing company producing gates and doors, or some Spanish mythological matter that invades the brain via the ear.

Finally, the nurse returned. She came into the room with a beaming smile on her face.

“You found something out?” asked the doctor.

“I certainly have! I know what he’s trying to tell us…”