Author: Alexander Fawn

He was about to eat when his phone sounded, he looked down and saw it was from her.

He sat back and stared at the screen. What was this? Was this going to be an apology, he wondered? He certainly deserved one. He thought about the others that were there at the time. They had all been embarrassed by her behaviour. It wasn’t as though she was drunk, as far as he could tell. Maybe she just felt strongly about it, which anybody could have, he supposed. After all, it was in all the papers and being discussed by anyone who had a view about it. It was the way she just blurted it out in such a crude manner that took everybody by surprise. Well, no, more like shock, really.

His finger hovered over the delete button.

He supposed it could be seen as nothing more than a peccadillo, as his father used to say. On the other hand, there were five other people that were made to feel very uncomfortable by what she said. He sighed.

Finally, after much thought, he made up his mind.

He would read it…

He was new to the district and wanted to check it out.

He knew this girl had a leaflet delivery round and thought it would be good to tag along. After two hours of covering four blocks, lots of streets and countless houses, he felt he knew the area fairly well. He had a thorough look around from up on the girl’s shoulder. He particularly liked the garden two streets over from where they started. The elderly couple on the front porch were both smoking, that meant tobacco, and he thought he could make out a chocolate wrapper. It would do nicely.

Being a saw-toothed grain beetle, the non-flying kind, he’d hitch another ride tomorrow and drop off.

She had a suspicion that things would have to change.

He was still looking at her with those puppy dog eyes. She looked away. As she had predicted, she was sure things were going to get awkward.

“You’re very quiet this morning,” he said.

‘Am I?” she said.

“Yes, you are, you seem a bit distant somehow.”

“I’m fine thanks, really,” she gave him a faint smile.

“That’s good. As long as things are, well, you know, still OK.”

She became annoyed. “I don’t know what you mean. Sure I’m OK. Why shouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged with a look of embarrassment. He leant forward. “It’s, you know, like I said, you seem a bit distant. Let’s face it, it’s not the same is it, between us, I mean? You don’t seem to want to talk anymore. Don’t think I haven’t noticed, you look away a lot. I don’t know if it’s something I’ve done or something I’ve said.” He sniffed. He looked as though he was going to cry.

She looked around and let out a long sigh.

“OK,” she said, tapping the side of the barista’s machine. “Just a cappuccino, thanks.”

She’d really have to find another café, she thought.

The boy running across the park caught his eye.

He made for the large oak tree on the far side that had lost most of its leaves showing its great network of branches. He watched as the boy made the first heavy branch and sat for a while looking up. The gap to the next was considerable and the lad had to stand up shakily on his branch to get hold of the one above. He continued to climb for several minutes, finally straddling one of the highest branches. He just sat there for a while looking around. The watcher knew that he would have a marvellous view from up there.

Then, very slowly, the climber came down. When he reached the ground the watcher felt like clapping, but he wasn’t very good at it. There was a sadness about the watcher.

His mother says goodbye to her friend and approaches. She grabs the handles, saying, “Time to go, sweetheart.”

He pushes the brakes off, and he is wheeled away.

He was in the back garden when it came to him.

It was an instant revelation. One moment it was not there, and the very next, it was! The truth of it came so abruptly into sharp focus that it was almost overwhelming. Nevertheless, there it was, as plain as day. It was quite simply the answer to it all. It was the reason for life on Earth. It explained the existence of the cosmos and the part that all living things play in it. It was the key that, by its very nature, would unlock every conceivable mystery. It clearly laid out the answers to all questions that were ever posed by philosophers throughout the ages. It was the solution to everything that needed to be solved. It was, in itself, the reason for everything.

It was the ultimate panacea.

Unhappily, he knew that without the power of speech he was not able to pass any of this on to other earthworms.

His favourite canned soup had been out of stock in the various shops they had tried around town.

It was perplexing and they figured it had to be one of two things. Either Mulligatawny soup was so popular that supply couldn’t keep up with demand, or the complete opposite, so few people were buying it that sellers didn’t want to give it shelf space. Whatever the reason, it had been unavailable for several months. They were at the shops again and he was passing the time reading the notices on the board, while she shopped. It was mounted on a wall in the main entrance hall of the shopping centre. The thing was there as a convenience for any member of the public to post adverts or personal messages. In the main they consisted of business cards, with a sprinkling of personal notices offering things for sale, together with the occasional lost pet.

It was this last category that caught his eye. Anyone that had a missing animal would give a description of it and a telephone number. In those cases where the person preparing the notice had thought ahead, a series of paper tabs, each one giving a contact number. These tabs could be torn off and kept, just in case. The one he was staring at wasn’t about lost animals or lost anything. In fact, it was hard to see what it was about. The message, if that’s what it was, was a set of strange hieroglyphics and symbols that conveyed nothing to him. It was the tabs that had him wondering. He estimated that there had originally been around twenty, with most torn off. Instead of telephone numbers, they were words. The three that remained were ‘Luck’, ‘Fortune’ and ‘Joy’.

Whatever it was, he found it amusing. He couldn’t help wondering what the other tabs had said. After all, luck, fortune and joy would have to be hard to ignore. He decided he’d take one for fun and was tossing up between luck and fortune. Being pretty much content with the life he had, he could give Joy a miss. Fortune was tempting, but luck was somehow more intriguing. He removed the tab and pocketed it as he strolled to the entrance of the supermarket. He stood waiting for several minutes before spotting her at one of the checkouts. When she finally came out she surprised him by stopping half way. She put her bag on the floor and rummaged through its contents. Then with a great all-knowing grin, she held up a can and waved it in the air.

At that moment, much to his wife’s surprise, he dashed back out into the foyer and tore off ‘Fortune’.

This was the fourth time he had visited the agency.

They must have made a small fortune out of him, he thought, as he waited in reception. He sat thinking back to the first time he had used one of their escorts. That was for the firm’s Christmas party, then there was the tennis club’s dance, then the complimentary ticket for the theatre, for two, and now for his cousin’s wedding. He didn’t enjoy coming here much. It all felt a bit underhanded. He felt sure some people would have guessed what he was doing; would have realised that he didn’t have any real girlfriends to take to these things. The girl at the front desk called out softly that he could go in.

The familiar manager stood and smiled as he entered. They shook hands and sat. Him, feeling a touch unsure about going through the same process again, and her, concentrating on scrolling through his particulars on her screen.

“I’m just looking to see what we can do for you. I see from your email that it’s for a wedding. I can think of one or two of our ladies that would be a most suitable companion for such an occasion. Just a couple of weeks away, is it?”

He nodded and said, “Yes, that’s right.”

“Oh!” she said, looking up smiling. “I see you now qualify for our Gold Class membership.”

Something inside him cringed.

With an enquiring look, she asked, “Would you like to sign up for that?”

He sat for a few moments, bobbing his head around as though he was trying to decide whether he would or not.

Suddenly, he got to his feet. “Look,” he said, rather abruptly, “I’ll be in touch.”

She watched, a little confused, as he left the room.

At the desk, the girl looked up expectantly. He just smiled and waved as he left the building.

Out on the street, walking back to his car, he turned it all over in his mind. Who was he kidding? He made a decision.

He would ask Samantha from the bakery…

The girl had heard her father talking to the man next door.

She was confused. It had never occurred to her before that he could be so wrong about anything. She had always looked on him as being perfectly sensible. At first, she thought it might be a case of simply mishearing what he had said. But that couldn’t be right because she was right there in the front garden when she heard him say it. He said, “Look here, you just can’t compare apples with oranges.” That is what he said, she was sure of it. She went to her room and sat for a long time thinking about it. She opened her school bag and took out her class dictionary. She looked up the word ‘compare’.

There it was, plain to see. It said it meant to examine something in order to note similarities and differences. She thought about apples and oranges. Of course they were different, but you could easily compare them. For a start, they are both very similar sizes. They are both fruits. Some say they are both good for you. Although, she didn’t know how true that was, on account of the fact that she had never liked oranges. But that wasn’t the point. They were both of a similar shape. They probably weighed much the same. They were both food. They both grew on trees!

She felt even more confused after thinking about it. She thought about how she’d been told off recently for arguing. Her mother had told her not to be so argumentative.

She’d keep quiet…

The boys were playing in the old plane hangar when they found it.

The disused military airfield had been out of commission for years. The fact that it was so close to their homes made it an ideal indoor play area. All of the offices just inside the main door had been emptied out when the last of the soldiers left. Over time, the two boys had gone through all of the rooms, desk drawers and cupboards. They knew the place inside out. It was this that made it so strange to find the device there at all. It was partly buried under a pile of work coats. It looked new, and it seemed to be a remote hand control for a television or some piece of electrical equipment.

However, they soon realised that this could not be the case as it had only one button. The thing was about the size of a TV remote, but it was a lot lighter. This seemed strange because its casing seemed to be made entirely of metal. The thing was black except for the button, which was red. It had a brushed finish on all surfaces with no visible way of opening it up. They were amazed to see that it still had power. There seemed to be a glow of red light beneath the metal skin, just above the button. It was also intriguing to discover that this illuminated patch turned green when either of them handled it.

Quite naturally, the first thing they wanted to do was press the button. This was talked about for a minute or two. Despite them coming up with the sensible course of action, that being to hand it in, it was inevitable that one of them would give way to temptation. The older of the two finally pressed the button.

For a few moments, nothing happened. Then, the thing began to buzz and the concrete floor beneath their feet began to vibrate violently. The metal walls of the hangar began to shake. Then, without warning…

There had been several complaints about the water pressure dropping and getting worse.

When Benbow Boggins learned that the water supply from the Eldingwood dam that was piped into the village was at risk because of a leak, he consulted Mungling, the hob goblin that dealt with the communities plumbing needs. However, as the goblin was busy, he asked that Benbow visit the secret, highly secured parts department, in order to speed up the job. He needed a grungling wave washer for the job. Benbow readily agreed and was given the location of the entrance; it being the mystical tree in the Eldingwood wood. He was told what knot to press, that is what ‘knot’, as opposed to what ‘not’, and Benbow set off immediately.

When Benbow found the tree he pushed the large knot, as described, and a great portion of bark swung open. As he entered, the door closed quietly behind him. He made his way down three short steps to the entrance of a narrow tunnel. He could make out torches burning as far as the eye could see. The tunnel was very long. At the end he came to more stairs cut into the rock. This time he climbed down three flights before coming to the entrance of another even longer tunnel. At the end of this tunnel, he found a thick knotted rope hung down over a hole. He slowly descended, using each knot as a hand hold, until he reached the ground. Here, he found himself staring down a further tunnel.

At this point he stopped for a rest. He had no idea how long he’d been going, but he was getting hungry. At the end of this he came to an elevator door with a single button. He pressed it and the doors slid open. When they closed, he stood in darkness for a moment. Then, seeing a phosphorescent button he pressed it and felt himself being jolted upwards. When he stepped out he could see that he was at the entrance of yet another long tunnel. This one was even narrower than the others. Half way along he found himself crossing a swing bridge that was suspended over running water.

At the end of this he found that it turned sharply to the right and he was facing an even longer tunnel, poorly lit this time, with torches spaced further apart. The ground was rough and he had to move forward carefully. At the end he came to the bottom of a spiral staircase, which he slowly climbed.

At the top he stood panting. He was now staring down what would have to be the last tunnel, because at its end he could make out a door with the words ‘Parts Department’ displayed in large red letters above it. As he came close he could see a hand-written note pinned to the door.

It was at this point that it came to Benbow that hand-written notices pinned on doors can’t always be relied on.

It read, ‘Closed. Back in five minutes.’