Author: Alexander Fawn

There are times in life when nothing seems to go right.
In fact, in his case, the man’s entire life had been an ongoing string of things going wrong. He had often spent time going through these events in an effort to remember them all. There were too many! Besides, what did his mate tell him in the pub the other night, after he’d complained about all of his life’s woes? He suggested that he shouldn’t dwell on the effects, but rather the cause of things. He said a good long stint of self-reflection could do no harm. He said there was so much power in self-analysis. So, it was this advice, this idea, that has him still in bed on a Sunday morning, long after he would normally get up. He knew there were things about himself that probably didn’t help. He began to form a mental list.

As a kid he remembers he never did much studying or handing in homework. He knows he copied other kid’s homework and cheated when doing exams. He was always being really rude to teachers; that got him into a lot of trouble. Healthwise; he lived on fast food and take-aways, always took far too much sugar and was a heavy drinker. He was always in debt on his credit card, gambling didn’t help. He kept letting the overdraft charges build up. In short, he did have a habit of living above his means.
After thinking it all through, he couldn’t see how the cause of any of this was in any way the fault of other people… but he was sure it was!

He didn’t have many friends, which is why the few he had were so precious.
However, they had got him into trouble, more than once. He knew these had been bad things, but wasn’t going to lose his friends because of them. His parents had never liked the sound of these new mates that he’d taken up with from the very beginning. It was only when they had it explained to them by the boy that they were very special because he was the only one who could see them, that they became worried. When they were told that these friends wouldn’t appear to anyone other than him, they began looking for help. They eventually settled on a specialist, a man who, it would seem, had made remarkable progress with similar patients.
After several discussions, the boy agreed to attend the medical suite for a number of sessions.
The medical practitioner, who was very expensive, as well as coming so highly recommended, had a number of really annoying habits. These, the boy had to contend with in order to keep his parents happy. The three that were particularly hard to put up with were the way he insisted on his referring to him as ‘Sunshine, the way he would keep saying, “Yes, yes,” to himself, as though he was congratulating himself about something, and the way he would idly sit twiddling and rotating the large, green marble apple, a paperweight he kept on his desk, whenever the boy tried to fully expand on his feelings.
On his final visit, when the boy had managed to convince the doctor that he had made all his friends go away, never to return, it was met with sheer delight and a great deal of “Yes, yes.”
The man was shuffling papers in his bottom drawer, looking for a discharge form when it happened.
He hadn’t even noticed the apple being picked up…

She had always liked the series… books for dummies.
They were extremely practical. She had read these on Networking, Photoshop and Sewing. The latest was Life Improvements for Dummies. Most of it was very interesting, but she was surprised to find that section seventeen was titled Losing Your Partner. However, it wasn’t about grieving, on the contrary, it was a chapter devoted to describing ways to see your partner off! Once she was over the shock of finding it in the book at all, she began to study it with fervour. It would definitely solve a number of ongoing issues that have been troubling her of late. Some of the ideas were truly thought-provoking. Solution five seemed to be the most promising and had the advantage of not making too much mess and the follow up addendum on disposal comprised of a series of easy-to-follow steps.
On reflection, she had always wanted to try oil painting, but he had always hated the smell of the turpentine used to dilute and mix paints and for cleaning up. He said that it always made him instantly nauseous.

There was a book, Oil Painting for Dummies.
It was comforting to know that from where he was in the back garden, the smell in the kitchen would never bother him.
She had always liked the series… the books were so practical.

He had always been a nervous child.
People thought it was strange that he wanted to spend so much time indoors. Nobody understood his preference for staring out from his bedroom window on the second floor. He had a good view from there. He would sit, looking down at the kids playing in the park that backed onto their house. He could watch as people walked dogs, children ran around kicking a ball or just chasing one another. He really liked the dry, sunny weather because it guaranteed that there would be plenty of activity down there. He was looking down when, as had happened in the past, he suddenly felt the urge to join them.
He got up and walked towards the door.
Once again, the invisible thing beneath his bed, the thing that he couldn’t tell anybody about, stirred.
It whispered yet again, “You really need to stay in. You’re safe with me.”
After a moment’s hesitation, he went back to his chair by the window, and watched…

The voice whispered that it was here.
It asked where that was, and the voice went on. It said that it was a planet that has seventy percent of its surface covered in water, of that, only three percent is fresh, with the remaining salty. Two percent of the fresh water is frozen. It is not round, but an ellipsoid flattened at the poles. It said that it consisted mostly of iron, silicon and oxygen. It rotates with a tilt of around sixty-six degrees. It was formed over four and a half billion years ago and currently has seven continents and one hundred and ninety-five countries. Its population is over seven and a half billion.
The voice went on to say that the inhabitants only evolved around three hundred thousand years ago. There are more than seven thousand languages being used by its people. There are approximately four thousand different religions. There are political, cultural and religious differences that challenge the inhabitants and there are more than two dozen wars being fought currently. There are also concerns about the way the climate is changing…

The newcomer asked, “Will I like it here?”
The answer came. “Hard to say.”

He had been known to actually argue with the voice that came out of his satnav.
He felt quite sure that there were occasions when the woman had simply got it wrong! When it came to telling her that, he never held back. On this particular trip he was in a coastal region that he was unfamiliar with and found himself relying on her directions far more than usual. He had needed to take issue with her a couple of times, but nothing too serious. That’s how he saw it, anyway. Although he wasn’t too sure about her. He thought he detected just a touch of frustration creeping into her voice. It certainly felt as though there was an edge to it. All this antagonism seemed to come to a head when she had said that he needed to turn right at the next intersection in fifty metres.
This had to be wrong because he could plainly see that the road ahead was just a straight run of at least five hundred metres with nowhere to turn. There seemed to be something positively insidious in her tone when, after a long spell of complete silence, she gave fresh directions.
The day was coming to an end and it was getting dark when this last message came out of the satnav speaker.
All of a sudden the road turned from bitumen to gravel, and he never saw the cliff edge coming up…

The unpleasant job of emptying the desk fell to the most recent member of the crew.
He figured that he was asked because no one else wanted to do it. He had known the Fire Chief since he was a lad. They went to the same school. Their families knew one another and they lived just a couple of blocks apart. There was little difference in their ages, but he had only joined the fire service a couple of months back, whereas the chief had joined up straight from school and had given fifteen years of service. He had only been chief for a year or so, when his predecessor retired. He was very popular with all who worked at the station. He was known for his sense of humour and his fairness. It was with a great deal of sadness that he was packing all of his boss’s personal belongings into a cardboard box.

It was not the case that he had perished in a house fire while trying to rescue some elderly home owner. He didn’t die falling from a ladder. He didn’t die from electrocution. He didn’t die when a roof collapsed. No, he didn’t die from any of these things.
In fact, if his wife hadn’t been staying with a sick relative in another town he would still be alive today.
If she’d been there he would never have got away with smoking in bed!

The truth was, she could never look back and explain what made her do it.
She had been toying with the idea for a long time. It wasn’t until she decided to write it all down in a list that it all started to fall into place. There were a dozen items. She regarded all of them as her constant problems. She wanted none of them. Her mind was made up; she would sell them on an internet site. She did some research and found a suitable e-market site. She looked back at her list and read it again.
• Don’t have any close friends
• Suffer from low self esteem
• Often experience depression
• Unhappy with my job
• Continually short of money
• Poor relations with family
• Repeatedly remembering bullying incidents from school
• Not sleeping properly
• Spending too much on junk food
• Wanting to be alone
• Always distrustful of people
• Allowing myself to become overwhelmed with problems
At first, she had no responders. She checked every day, but the situation dragged on like this for two weeks. Then, just as she was considering removing the post, a young man made contact.
He explained that he had problems of his own, but he was willing to buy hers. He said that he was able to take on her problems as well as his own. He said he was prepared to pay the full price. He also said that he had a very similar list, but had never thought of doing what she had done. He told her how much he admired her for what she was doing.
A few days later they met for a coffee.

The chief inspector didn’t like the sound of it.
It was his case and he didn’t need any help from the top brass, especially the latest idea of bringing in some sort of seer. He wasn’t even sure that he knew what a seer was. When he looked it up on the quiet and found that it meant a person reputed to have special powers of divination and therefore the ability to see, he was incensed. They weren’t even talking about a profiler, but some sort of medium with a crystal ball no doubt. But if this thing came from the top, past experience told him that there was nothing he could do about it. In fact, he had to go carefully if he wanted to avoid trouble.
The police investigation had been going on for nearly a year. To date, five murders had taken place, all within a radius of six city blocks. The victims had all been middle-aged men, and all of them died as a result of being garrotted in their place of work late at night. Being dubbed the office killer by the press, there had been a lot of publicity. The lack of progress being made by the chief inspector and his specially formed task force was obviously the reason for this unusual directive. It would see such a person coming on board to provide assistance on the case. Reluctantly, he agreed to have an office available and made ready for their visitor.
Two days later the seer arrived. She turned out to be a small woman in her late sixties or more. She came dressed in a cloak covered with all manner of mystical signs. She must have turned up early, because well before any of the task force arrived she had set herself up in the empty office. She had blacked out the windows with heavy cloth, making the room quite dark. On the desk she put a large, very ornate crystal ball, with one or two candles burning beside it.

As people arrived she met them and introduced herself. They were all taken aback by her witch-like appearance. The CI was beside himself with rage and embarrassment but somehow managed to hide it. When all eight members of the task force had arrived she explained that she had found the empty office down the hall and had already moved in. She said she was now ready to assist, and in fact had already started on the case. She announced that she had already made some progress. She said she would share that with them, but first she wanted to invite them all to see her room before she told them what she had found out.
Obediently, they all trouped behind her down the long hallway with the CI leading them. They all crowded in and stood agog for a few moments in the candlelight when she closed the door. Nobody spoke. She switched the light on and the group all moved around a little, looking relieved. She explained that she had used her powers already and what she saw was the fact that the killer was going to strike again. At this, the group of officers all held their breath, saying nothing, as instructed by their boss. The CI had stressed that they should all hold their own council regarding their visitor, bearing in mind that the order had come down from command. The door opened and they all quietly filed out. Many of them were silently shaking their heads, including the chief.
They had only arrived back at their desks for a minute or two, when the shout came. “Sir, there’s been another one!”
The old lady opened her door and called up the hallway.
“See? I told you!”

Just like any other day, he got off the train and began his usual route through the city streets.
It was only a five minute stroll, but he enjoyed it. He would always glance in the menswear shop at the first corner. He liked checking out the fashion. Then came the coffee strip. He never stopped to pick up a takeaway, he preferred what he got from the machine at work. It was the aromas that he liked; it prepared him for what was to come. He turned into a short mall, one of his favourite sections on his walk. There was always something happening halfway down, enough room for a busker to set up to catch the morning crowd. It was often someone with a guitar or a violin. There would be the cap or a container of some kind for coins or notes. He gave most times, just loose change. It always gave him a kick to do it.

He heard no music this time, but saw someone crouched in the usual spot. As he approached he saw that it was a young woman, cradling a baby in her arms. She was dressed in rags and the child looked filthy. There was a plastic pot with a hand-written card propped against it asking for money so that the deserted woman could feed her baby. As he slowed, he felt in his pocket and came up with a few coins. He stooped to drop them in. Being a redhead himself, he was struck by the child’s ginger stubble. The woman looked up. As he moved on, she cried out, “Hey! Is that you?”
His pace quickened.
He was going to have to find another way of getting to the office.